You may feel like Love is broken beyond repair. But what is broken can be restored. The remedy for your broken heart is a heart that is broken for yours.
If you are searching for a way to mend your broken heart, you are not alone. A google search on the phrase ‘love is broken‘ returned over 870 million entries.
It feels like love is broken Beyond repair.
Like me, you may have had your heart broken by a lover, friends, family, or coworkers. Others may have rejected you because of your sexual orientation, lifestyle, or unwillingness to conform to a certain moral standard.
Meanwhile, politicians argued, nations fought, refugees fled, and children died of starvation. Every day you were confronted with new incidents of racism, misogyny, intolerance, sexual assault, and domestic violence.
Amid the pandemic, you wondered if Love had gone south for the winter, never to return.
Was Love truly irrevocably broken?
And like me, you probably tried your hand at a variety of relationship-repair strategies with mixed results.
when love is broken we look for ways to repair it
During the pandemic, I restricted contact with toxic individuals, sought brand new connections, and invested in self-improvement.
I tried to protect my heart from additional harm by avoiding others or being hyper-alert to potential danger. But in the process, I removed the potential for joy. Isolation was not the answer.
I longed for new relationships and the excitement that came with them. But sometimes, I found myself in the same destructive patterns with a different cast of characters.
Maybe I was the problem?
I thought that if I were a better version of myself, I would become more lovable, flourishing my relationships.
But I found that being a better person did not guarantee success, and it was exhausting.
At some point, food became an attractive alternative to heartbreak. But I soon discovered that there are some things that a gallon of chocolate ice cream cannot repair.
Maybe you tried these or some other coping methods with equally unsatisfying results.
I was about to give in to cynism and binge-watching another season of NCIS when I saw the answer staring me in the face. It was my wife looking back at me.
When love is broken, the remedy is a heart that is broken for yours.
My wife gave me the gift of her physical presence and undivided attention. Not only did she understand the heartache I was experiencing, but she experienced it as well.
She allowed her heart to be broken for what I had suffered. Yet, that simple act brought much-needed healing.
When your heart is broken, it is best mended by a heart that is willingly broken with and for you.
I thought back to the numerous time’s people responded to me with compassion when others hurt me.
In college, my girlfriend rejected me. But, a friend was there to remind me that I was worth knowing. He felt my pain.
When my father died, a friend, who had lost his dad the prior year, was immediately by my side as I experienced grief and loss. His presence reminded me that I would laugh again.
When my dream job at the church ended, my wife reminded me that she still believed in me. She created a safe place for my heart to grieve and mend.
You may have had similar experiences with someone whose heart was broken by what you were going through.
Take a moment and think about these individuals. What a gift they gave you when they were willing to have their heartbroken for you. Maybe they will inspire you to be that kind of person for someone else experiencing difficult times.
But there are heartbreaks that even my wife cannot heal. In those moments, I turn to God.
I know that God understands the depths of my heartbreak and that he is present in difficult times. I know that Jesus acted on my behalf to restore my heart and right standing with God. His death paid the penalty for my sins and failings, and his resurrection empowered me to live a joyful and meaningful life.
His heart was broken on your behalf as well.
Jesus, the embodiment of Love, had his heartbroken to restore us to a right relationship with God.
The remedy for your broken heart is the heart of Jesus that was willingly broken for you. Likewise, Love is broken for you.
Can you be the remedy to someone else’s broken heart by listening and being fully present?
Are you willing to go beyond a heart that is broken and into a season of advocacy for others?
Have you experienced the Love that is broken for you?
If you liked this article, please signup for the LoveIsBroken4u Newsletter. This newsletter is for those who feel broken by trauma, shame, and mental illness and the caregivers who serve them.
My mission is to help individuals and churches become safe havens for the broken.