Lovable. Some people seem to love others easily. They bring out the best in others. They pick up on emotional clues that others miss. They make us feel loved. They generate hope. They even excel in dealing with difficult people. And they seem to do it effortlessly. It can make the rest of us jealous of their emotional proficiency. All of us want to be loved. Most of us would like to be able to love others. We want to be lovable.
Why Do Some People Seem To Be More Loving And Lovable Than Others?
Why do some people seem to be more loving and lovable than others? What inner motivation drives them to love others well? Why do others so universally love them?
Nature. Some would argue that their personality and temperament predispose them to love others well. They would say that being kind is simply in their nature, making them lovable.
Nurture. Others would contend that they were raised in a loving environment, resulting from their upbringing; they love others well, making them lovable. But there are exceptions to this rule. Nurture is not always an indicator that someone will love others well. And the reverse is also true.
An Absence of love. Some would suggest that they know what it is like not to be loved. Not to be valued. They strive to provide what they did not receive in abundance. In doing so, they become lovable.
Suffering and Pain. Hurt by someone who was supposed to love them, this deep sense of betrayal affects how they relate to others. They create families based on shared experiences, not genetics. They become lovable by creating a family.
Faith and Belief. They believe that all people were created in the image of God and have value. They believe that God loves them. This belief makes them easy to love.
Can We Love Others For The Same Reasons?
I believe that we can. I love for all of these reasons and more.
By nature, I am an easy-going person. I tend to see the best in people. But as a child, I was nervous and was in fear of most adults.
I grew up in a loving household where my family continually expressed their love for me. But I often wondered If that affection was dependent on my performance.
The world could be cold, distant, and lonely outside of my family life. Love was absent for a time until I met my future wife.
Others have hurt me. Pain from those closest to you who were supposed to love you is the worst pain of all. I have a granddaughter and cannot imagine betraying that unconditional love. But it is a fact of life. If you are around people, they will hurt you. Hermits become isolationists for a reason.
As an adult, I became a Christ-follower. I believe that God loves us unconditionally. I am undeserving of that love. This truth empowers me to love others, including individuals who don’t appear to deserve love.
But you don’t have to be a Christ-follower to love others well. It would be condescending to think that only religious people can love others unselfishly. If you watch a new parent with an infant, you quickly realize the universal capacity that humanity has to love one another.
It would also be hypocritical not to acknowledge the individuals who claim to follow Christ, who are some of the most unlovable people you’ll ever meet in the world.
For the Christian, please remember that Jesus said,” “By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.”
It is intriguing in what Jesus does not say. He didn’t say,
By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you live a morally perfect life.
By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you build great worship centers, hospitals, orphanages, or educational facilities.
By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you oppose evil.
By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you support one political party over the other.
By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you isolate yourself from anyone who does not hold the same beliefs as you.
Jesus’ teachings on love are widely accepted.
These noble goals include loving the outcast, surrendering one’s self-interest, and respecting others’ dignity and worth.
You can’t dismiss this type of love.
A message to those who have been hurt by my actions and those of other Christians.
First, I sincerely apologize for the unkindness, shame, and condemnation you experienced.
Second, I beg you not to judge God solely on the behavior of his followers.
A misspelled word in a book does not dispel the overall truth of that book. The imperfect lives of Christ-followers do not invalidate the person or teachings of Jesus.
Jesus is not mad at you. On the contrary, he loves you and wants to restore your broken heart.
He wants you to experience his unconditional love.
In the process of learning to love others we will find some unexpected benefits.
According to research, adults over age 50 who volunteered regularly were less likely to develop high blood pressure than non-volunteers.
But The Greatest Benefit To Loving Others Is That In The Process We Become More Lovable.
Imagine that you see an older man sitting on a bench by himself. He is looking around, and you try not to make eye contact. You don’t know his story, and you feel uncomfortable. You have no desire to meet him.
But a few minutes later, a young woman who appears with a baby approaches him. She takes a seat and hands the baby to him. The older man becomes animated and overcome with feelings of love and joy in the presence of this child. He proudly displays his grandchild to everyone in sight.
We now see him differently. He is lovable.
Think about someone you know who is loved by everyone. There is a high probability that that person is kind to others and listens well.
They have established relationships with people who will return that love in loving others.
Some people will take advantage of the loving nature of others. But the rewards of loving others are always worth the risk. So don’t give up on love.
We have a choice every day in how we interact with others. So which of these reasons can you adapt to love others and, in the process, make yourself more lovable?
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