I spoke to a group of men about feelings. Here are 6 truths for men concerning our emotions. We all have emotions and feelings. These feelings are powerful. Feelings are a factor in the choices we make. Although feeling sometimes appears illogical, they are nonetheless genuine. Expressing emotions can be very difficult. How we handle our feelings can affect our physical health and life expectancy.
1. Everyone has feelings.
Everyone has feelings, even your current boss and the politician you can’t stand. No one is exempted from the experience. We are not mindless robots. Our feelings and emotions are often what drives us to take action.
2. Feelings are powerful.
Our feelings are powerful. They can sometimes be overwhelming. They can diminish our decision-making skills. They can leave us open to self-deception and manipulation. Because of these experiences, we can equate feelings with weakness. But our emotions can become a strength. Emotional Intelligence is now recognized as a needed leadership skill in the marketplace. Numerous books have been written concerning this skill.
3. Feelings are a factor in the choices we make.
When faced with a decision, our feelings can cause us to view our situation as an obstacle or an opportunity. Every day we choose between fear and hope. Joy and sadness. Anger and love. They are either a blessing or a curse depending on how you approach them. Our emotions can tell us when to pursue and when to push away. What are our emotions telling us about the situation and ourselves?
4. Although feeling sometimes appear illogical, they are nonetheless very real.
Although other people’s feelings sometimes appear illogical, they are nonetheless very real, especially to the person who is experiencing them. I have learned to listen to a person’s feelings before trying to fix the problem.
When I was a toddler, my dad explained all the logical reasons why a monster did not live under my bed. But I didn’t hear a thing he said. It was only when he held me in his strong arms that I was willing to get back in bed.
5. Expressing our feelings can be difficult.
As men, we can sometimes find it difficult to express our feelings. We may have grown up in family and social groups that didn’t censor themselves in any way. They said whatever they felt regardless of how it might impact others. We may have grown up in family and social groups that frowned on the expression of any emotion. Especially any emotion that demonstrated a perceived weakness to others.As men , we can sometimes find it difficult to express our feelings. We may have grown up in family and social groups that didn't censor themselves in any way. They said whatever they felt regardless of how it might impact others. We may… Click To Tweet
I grew up stuffing my emotions. I rarely lost my temper. But when I did, it was the nuclear option. Two minutes after I lost my temper, I was fine. But everyone else dealt with the aftershocks for days. Then I met a woman who stole my heart. I found myself letting my guard down with her. After dating for a while, it was obvious that I loved her. At first,t it was awkward telling my future bride that I loved her. But I found that expressing my feelings grew naturally with time and practice. I am grateful that I opened my heart to her. And that she opened her heart to me.
6. The way we handle our emotions can affect our physical health and life expectancy.
Our feelings can affect our physical health and life expectancy. Stuffing emotions can lead to depression, high blood pressure, ulcers, and heart attacks. I experienced this earlier in the year. I did not want to talk about it. My health was being compromised.
I talked with my wife. I began to journal my feelings daily. I sought counseling to help me think through some painful experiences. But it was when I began to be gut-level honest with my friends that things began to improve. I was surprised and encouraged to learn that they were experiencing the same emotions that I was.
Maybe someone is waiting for you to speak up and start a conversation?